Week 31 - My Week In Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr! (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for “…..no phone, no lights, no motorcars….not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe, it’s primitive as can be……”) and if I have to tell you where that came from, you are either way younger than me – or you don’t watch Nick at Night….

So, remember that I told you I have a “surprise” for you? You all know how I am good friends with Haleem – so I asked Haleem if I could share with you the story about his brother (Raheem’s) future wedding. Here is the way it went….one evening, Raheem stands up during the evening meal and announces he is going to get married. The family applauds and is so happy. The “soon-to-be in-laws” hug their son and dad wipes a tear from his eye. All of the family gathers around Raheem. What a great day….they are so happy for their boy.

So, the wedding is going to happen in mid-November – and the whole family is very excited. They are spending money and getting ready to have a feast – Raheem is spending money getting the “honeymoon suite” painted and all the setup. The family is getting the party area ready. All of Raheem’s relatives are buying and wrapping expensive gifts for the bride and groom.

“The Groom” - Raheem in his new “honeymoon suite.”  He has taken great care (and spent a lot of money) to paint and furnish the room for his new bride.

There is just one little, itty-bitty, tiny problem.

There is no bride yet.

Nope. That was not a typo or misprint. There is no bride yet. You see…. Raheem is reaching his mid 20’s and he has basically “sowed his wild oats” – and is ready to settle down. So he announced to his family that he wants to get married in mid-November. And they started preparation. Now, if you are thinking this is an “arranged marriage” – well, yes and no. You see, here is how it works here (and again – this is what I am told from the locals here….)

Now if Raheem is single and happens to meet a pretty young thing – say at a coffee shop – or at a bookstore – or whatever, and the girl and Raheem get along, they are free to meet (with PROPER family supervision) and talk. If they agree they like each other and want to go to the “next level,” the families will meet. If the families are pretty close in economic status, it is pretty simple – they just agree to the marriage (and again, the bride and groom – hold a lot of sway in this decision). If they are not economically equal - there is discussion about how much money the bride’s family will give to the groom – or vice versa….but if they want to get married, it is usually not too much of an issue. 

Now in Raheem’s case – he hasn’t met the “right girl” yet. So he has asked his mom and dad if they can help him find a mate. So…. the family starts looking for families with available females in the proper age and social range. The families will get together and introduce the potential bride and groom – with everyone understanding that this is for a potential marriage. The couple meets and if they like each other initially, they will meet again. (And again – the families NEVER leave the couple alone) – If they still like each other after that second meeting – a third meeting is called for. If everything works out after the third meeting – arrangements are finalized and the date for the wedding is set. (Insert joke-of-your-choice here about three strikes and you’re out….)

Also – at any time during these three meetings, if Raheem or his potential bride decide not to get married, the families (politely) dismiss themselves and both move on to look elsewhere for another potential mate. 

So Raheem’s parents set up a meeting with a potential bride and her family in Nasiriyah (about 5 hours from here)… Raheem and his parents go up for their first meeting at the potential bride’s house. Raheem is sitting nervously with his mom and dad – when in walks one of the most beautiful women he has seen. She sits beside her mom and dad and is introduced to Raheem. They nod nervously – and the bride’s parents start asking Raheem questions….. “What do you do for a living?” “How big is your house?” “What are your plans for the future?” “How will you take care of our daughter?” “How many children do you want to have?” “What is your status with the Mosque?” Etc., Etc.

Once they are done, Raheem’s parents start asking the bride questions: “How many grandchildren will you want to give us?” “What do you do during the day?” “Have you been to college?” Etc., Etc. In a way, it is kind of romantic if you think about it…. part of the “fun” of any relationship is getting to know each other and grow together…… Also understand that many marriages in the Middle East have started this way…. again, part of the “culture” difference that I so often talk about. I’m not saying this is “for better or worse” (to borrow a phrase) – it is just different. There are many “arranged” marriages here where the young couple has had a wonderful life and lived to ripe old ages.

So….on the ride home from Nasiriyah, Raheem is asked by his mother if this is his potential mate…..

“Lah.” (NO!)

Raheem’s parents are kind of confused….”Why?  It was going so well…..She was so beautiful….”

“She is beautiful,” Raheem concedes. “But she doesn’t get up until 9 o’clock in the morning. I go to work at 6 in the morning. I expect to get up and have breakfast ready for me. She is a lazy butt!”

Alright so for all of you who are thinking Raheem is a bad guy for wanting his wife to have breakfast ready for him before he leaves for work – you must also agree he has his standards – and he is not “throwing them out the window” for a pretty face (which is what a lot of guys in the US would probably do….) or in Jeanette’s case – threw her standards out the window for a guy in a cool hat…..

Anyrate, Raheem is still planning on his wedding in mid-November. I have asked Haleem if he can take photos for me (discretely) of the various stages of the wedding - and to keep me up to date on “the search for the bride”. My plans are to keep you up to date on how the wedding plans progress.  Please understand, Haleem loves his brother – and this is not meant to “cast fun” on the Iraqi culture at all – but Haleem and his family have agreed to let me share this with you – so we can enjoy the cultural differences together – cool, no?.

So, what else have I been doing? Mostly completing some base planning designs and working on the Waste Water Treatment Plant (WWTP). 

At the WWTP, the contractor has poured the concrete roof – and I thought I would show you a few pictures of that. The roof is 15 cm (about 6 inches) thick and it is awful heavy – so I showed you last week where they had wood beams supporting the roof – well, they brought in some metal jacks to help support the roof as well…as concrete is heavy.

Good ole Mr. Wide – checking out the metal bracing for the concrete roof (you can still see the “tequila sunrise” paint on the walls that I showed you a pic of a week or two ago…)

Pouring the concrete roof – very similar to a slab on the ground – as always – it is important to get the concrete completely surrounding the rebar (and then to get the air bubbles out of the concrete).  By the way – in the background – on the other side of that wall is Kuwait….

Also, we have been doing a lot of cleaning to an underground lift station. This is a large concrete tank (about 30’ x 20’ x about 8’ high) and it is where the screened sewage water should have been circulated (by air – to keep the “solids” suspended in the water). Think of it like when you were a kid and you would put a ton of sugar into iced tea. If you kept stirring it – the sugar would be in the tea – if you stopped stirring, the sugar would settle to the bottom. Well, the same happened here – the “tea” was not being stirred (air was not circulating the water) – and so the “sugar” settled to the bottom – and it was a MESS. So basically, I paid a contractor to come and remove a bunch of “sugar” that had settled and caked into the lift station. (BTW, trust me….it does help to think of it as sugar – or mud or anything but what it really is – or your gag reflex kicks in awful quick)…

As the water is being mixed, it is then pumped to the above ground aeration tanks (where the solids would be separated from the water). Again, a very simple and efficient process.

This is me standing in the CLEANED lift station (and no- it did not smell).  They cleaned it very well.  All of the pipes and pumps have been removed (I am standing under the “valve pit” where they would route the water to the aeration tanks).  This is a big tank.

This is a photo after the initial cleanup.  Here is a close-up of the corroded metal pipe that pumps air into the screened water – and the aeration jet head (the jet head is plastic) that keeps the water circulating

Yes, this is the “entrance” to the underground lift station….you can see how excited I am to go down there.  I asked one of the contractors how clean it was….so I pointed down there and said “Khozi?” (meaning… was it clean enough to eat off of down there?…).  Well later on, he responded to Mohandis Amjad – why does Mr. Wade want us to eat Khozi down there?

This is where the air pumps connect to the system – The pumps are all being cleaned and checked for proper operation.  If the air doesn’t pump – this is not a Waste Water Treatment Plant – it is basically a big septic tank.

So – on to another subject. You probably realized that I haven’t discussed my office mate and buddy – Captain Myles Esmele in a while – and that is because for the last several months, either, he has been gone – or I have been – so we have only been office mates again for about a week or so during that time. You see, (after his RnR trip – and then my RnR trip), Captain Esmele went to another country here in the gulf to bring up another of the Swift Ships. These are the boats that are being built in Louisiana and shipped to Umm Qasr for the Iraqi Navy to use. Well Captain Esmele goes and rides with the boat on its final leg here. Of course being a Navy Captain – he gets to “pilot” the Swift ship…..below is a picture of Myles – piloting the Swift Ship among the murky waters of Umm Qasr….

Good ol’ Captain Myles Esmele – at the helm of the latest Swift Ship

And of course, being the good guy he is – he let me pilot the boat as well…….

Mr. Wide piloting the Swift Ship….and there was no international incident….reported….as of today’s date.

Well, dear friends, once again, my time with you grows short. As always, I hope you are enjoying sharing my adventures. I must admit to being a little apprehensive about where I will wind up – or if I can finish my year here. Not knowing is tough – but I trust that no matter where I go – I know I will eventually be heading home – and that is my ultimate goal.

God Bless America

Mr. Wide

مهندس  واد  بروير

Bonus Photos……(worth every penny you pay for them….)

It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we have our sunglasses on…. Hit it… (with deep apologies to Jake and Elwood.)

Mr. Wide – if you move to Iraq – we will give you another wife and 3 goats.  Here is a picture of the goats.

Week 30 - My Week In Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr!  (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for…….”would you like FLIES with that?? “)

Yes, that is one bad thing about the weather dropping below 120 degrees. The flies come out…in droves. And these little suckers are Iraqi flies. They are small, quick, and persistent – they don’t “go away” when you swat at them. After I go jogging, I try to walk the camp to cool down. By the time I walk the big circle, I have a “following” of flies – they will fly in my ears and up my nose and they really don’t care if I swat at them….actually, I think they kind of like it – because they seem to go back to the exact same spot I just swatted them out of – and they are so fast, I don’t come anywhere near to hitting them. Right as I am finishing up my “cool down” walk, I usually just wave my hands around frantically– and then run inside and slam the door to my hootch. Sometimes….I believe I hear them sitting right outside my door….waiting for me to come out….

So anyrate, it has been another interesting week. As you probably know, the military is getting the heck out of Dodge….and that has nothing to do with the automobile….we had the last US Marine Corps members leave this past week. And the last of several other groups are going to start the process of moving out – I don’t have exact dates and times – but soon. And as stated last letter, I don’t know what my status is. I was told verbally that I am good here until the end of December – but that could change any day. My goal is still to stay until my year is up (in March) – but as any good employee – I serve at the pleasure of my boss…(the American People) and ultimately, it is up to you where I go and what I do….

But over the years – in working for the Dept. of Defense, you get used to that – not sure of where you are going or people moving around and promoting or changing jobs – so it is not that unusual for you to be working with different people in short time periods. It is sad – many of these friends I have made, I will probably never see again – especially since they are Navy/Marines and in my “normal” job, I work for the Air Force –so unless it is a fluke, I will just carry fond memories (of most) of them…..

Okay, so what fun things has Mr. Wide been up to? Well, a couple of things – I told you how I am working on the Waste Water Treatment Plant (WWTP)? I don’t know if you remember me mentioning about the “cutting of the sheep” when a new project starts…. Well, the Arabic name for “cutting of the sheep” (or at least the slang of it) is pronounced “Khozi”  (the KH is that guttural Q sound that we don’t have in the English language – so it is kind of pronounced “Quo-“(as in quote) and “zee” (as in zebra) – so QuoZee). Since this particular contractor has started two projects on base – we were long overdue for our Khozi…..and I had been told (several times) by the local engineers and interpreters that this Khozi is a GREAT FEAST – and was always looked forward to with much anticipation.

So with that cultural lesson….you may be asking yourself…. “Self, ….just what the heck is this Khozi that Mr. Wide is talking about???” Well, let me show you….

Oh – and caution….if you are a vegetarian….you may want to turn away…..or flip through fast – because this is ALL MEAT BABY…..Whoo-hoo! Well, All meat – with a LOT of rice…..

Khozi – Lamb stuffed with rice – actually Kharoof stuffed with buriani.  Note the raisins and the pine nuts in the buriani….so good – also note the whole chicken on the plate behind the Khozi….yep…it is that big.

So my only restriction with the Khozi – was we had to do it somewhere OTHER THAN the WWTP (I was kidding – we had the conference room here scheduled….).  But it was not just the Khozi that the Iraqis provided us – they had Simka (fish), dejudge (chicken), fresh fruit (good yellow bananas – not green hard ones like they serve at the DFAC – and wonderful pomegranates) – as well as Laban (yogurt), torshi (pickled vegetables), samoon and hobis (flatbread)  - as well as baklava for dessert….

The local Iraqis were correct – this was a great feast and the food was wonderful.

So I think I am going to be bringing several “traditions” back to the US….first – taking a nap during the heat of the day….(and putting a mattress in your office) and next is when a big project starts – the contractor provides Khozi!!!

Yes, not a pretty sight – the “scene” after the carnage was completed….oh…and don’t worry - that half empty box of baklava sitting right there up front?  Well, it found a good home……trust me on this one….

Now since you all know what a mild mannered soul I am, I was, as usual, my reserved…. respectful… mellow, laid back  self…during this great feast…..

So here is what I was up to…….

Now you know why they REALLY call me Mr. Wide!!

Of course, we did work on the plant – really. As I told you last week – the MOST important thing you can do for the proper operation of the plant – is to get it clean and to keep it clean. We have spent a lot of design time and effort to ensure that once the plant is up and running – it stays that way. And I am spending a lot of time reviewing designs and determining best ways that we can economically and efficiently run the plant. And the local engineer I hired – Mohandis Amjad – is spending a lot of time watching them clean the plant. The below photo is of the contractor cleaning one of the large “aeration tanks”. It is hard to tell – but those “pipes” that go down the right side of the tank - are pipes that carry oxygen to the bottom of the tank – so the water can be “bubbled” – and consequently, it increases the oxygen content of the water – and makes it so the water can sustain life.

You would NOT BELIEVE how filthy and cruddy this tank was before they started cleaning.  Notice the metal pipes?  They head down to the bottom of the tank to the “aeration jets” – so the oxygen bubbles through the water.  As stated before, this is a very economical and efficient process.

Here you can see the “aeration jets – they look like little shower heads – that point “up” into the water.

One more thing that I think you will find kind of interesting – the “norm” here is for concrete roofs. They are pretty flat (it doesn’t rain a lot here) and it withstands the winds very well. Well, originally the pump-house roof was metal – and when it caught fire, the metal warped and it basically became no good. But I thought it would be interesting to show you how they frame up and prepare for the concrete pour for the roof…

Here is the framework for the concrete roof….there will be walls eventually to help support the concrete roof

I am hoping next week to have photos of how they pour the roof. And also – one of the REALLY nasty tanks that they need to clean (I will keep it non-gross). Additionally, I think I am going to have a surprise for you in the coming weeks – as far as the updates…. I can’t let the “cat out of the bag” just yet, but I am hoping I will have a really interesting thing to share with you…..

So, my time for this week is gone. I always enjoy sharing these stories/thoughts with you – and, as always, I hope you are enjoying in “sharing” in my adventure. Know that even though I am 8000+ miles away, you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly – as are my Iraqi friends and colleagues. I am lucky. I get to come home to you eventually….and you don’t know how much I look forward to that day.

God Bless America

Mr. Wide

مهندس  واد  بروير

BONUS PHOTOS 

(you don’t have to pay extra for these!)

Wade is caught – everyone was wondering where his emergency stash of Starbuck’s coffee was…..

That’s right…..cool sunglasses AND we are trained to kill.  (Of course, it is hard to pull off the “tough guy” look when you are wearing a black “floatie” around your neck….)

Week 29 - My Week In Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr!  (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for – “no place to spend money, no entertainment, no place to go, and really lousy food…..did I volunteer – or get sentenced?!?”)

So, what exciting things have I been up to this week? Well, the biggest thing is that word has come down from “on high” that the ITAM Navy (Iraqi Training and Assistance Mission – whom I work for) mission is ending and we need to rotate out of the country as soon as we can. 

Since the mission is ending, there are a lot of “goodbyes” taking place – several of the “activities” have ended… including my “office mate” Capt. Myles Esmele’s Akido class. Myles is a certified Akido instructor and has taught classes all over the world. He handed out certificates to his class – and to those who helped support the class (me and a few others).

Capt. Esmele’s Akido class (Capt. Esmele is in his robe…. 

hint – don’t make a joke about bathrobes to a 

certified Akido instructor – as they tend to take it personally – 

and use you for a “class demonstration”

….note that the Akido guys train on where to hit you 

and not leave visible bruises….)

Unfortunately, I am one of the few – who have an “extended mission for ITAM Navy” – so I will be in country a little longer – maximum until the end of the year. But I have asked to be “re-missioned” – several different possibilities – but there is a “call” for a lot of positions in Afghanistan – and I am hoping to be picked up in one of those jobs to finish out my year (March 2012) – but nothing is firm yet (as I told you last letter, you get used to that in government work).

….but for now, a lot of my “planned work” has been tabled. I had to let one of my local engineers go due to lack of work. I continue to do what I can for the Iraqi Navy – but my opportunities are limited and I look forward to either heading home or moving on to a new mission.

Another “limited opportunity” is the DFAC.  OH…MY….GOSH… the food has been EXCEPTIONALLY bad the last week or so. We will be getting a new contractor in about a month to do the cooking – so I think the current cooks are trying to make us REALLY look forward to the new contractor. It was so bad, that a couple of nights, I had cereal for dinner (something pre-packaged) – or I will have a sandwich (they usually have one type of pre-packaged lunch meat and cheese) – so I am not starving. Again, I am a lucky one because I have the locals that bring me food. A lot of the guys here don’t have that option (or even more hilarious – is that they are AFRAID to eat the Iraqi food…… I but ask them, do you see what the DFAC is serving???  If you want to be afraid – eat the DFAC food – be very afraid…)

Okay, speaking of DFAC Food…I have been working on the Iraqi Navy Waste Water Treatment Plant (WWTP). This stretches back to April – when I connected up our camp sewer system to the Naval Base WWTP. I went over there to ensure the plant could handle the (relatively small) amount of waste that we generate. What I found was a plant that was totally non-functional. This was due to several items – bad design of the original plant, bad construction, and lack of maintenance by the Iraqis.

This was our initial design to renovate the WWTP – this is not 

anything like the final design – so this is not any type of 

security violation - but it gives you an idea of what the WWTP does – 

also, I had one of the local engineers translate the drawings into Arabic.  That makes it easier for the locals to bid on this.

After I warned “up the chain” that the WWTP was in terrible shape – a few months later – the pumphouse caught fire. Eventually, the renovation of the plant was funded – and it falls to me to redesign, correct bad construction, and train the Iraqi Navy Operators on how to maintain the plant.

Right after the fire in the WWTP….

Okay, now what “magic” happens with the WWTP (and I promise not to be gross – and it is really not a tremendously complicated process) ….it happens in pretty much 3 steps – and for those of you who are just dying to know – you can reference the drawing above to see what action happens where…..

1.     Add “de-foaming” agent to the water (you do this at the “lift station” in the above drawing – and you add the de-foaming agent because of the next step….)

2.     Bubble oxygen (air) into the water (if you don’t add the defoaming agent, you have 3 foot high yucky “bubble foam”)….this bubbling also helps separate the “sludge” (yes, that is the polite word for poop….) from the water. The bubbling takes place in the “aeration chamber” and the sludge flows into the “settlement chamber”

3.     Add a small amount of chlorine to the water to disinfect it. (This is done in the “product tank” in the drawing above)

Now, I wouldn’t drink this water – but it gets put into a lagoon and it eventually evaporates, etc. and becomes part of the “useful” cycle of nature… (for some reason I want to sing “The Circle of Life” from the Lion King right here…). But overall, it is a very economical and efficient process (and works well over here where there is not a lot of water.)

The real funny thing (funny -  strange) – is that for the WWTP to be REALLY effective – is it has to be cleaned (over and over) and that is part of the “training” that I am giving the Iraqi Operators – how to clean all the tanks, the aeration jets, the lines, etc. If you don’t keep the operation clean – pumps fail, jets get clogged, valves don’t work, etc. and the whole operation comes to a halt (that is what happened last time). So as part of the project, we fixed the design deficiencies, we are constructing to better standards and I am giving the WWTP operators a lot of training on how to clean, add chemicals and wash down the plant.

The pumphouse with the roof removed (pretty much looking at it as the same view from the fire picture above. )

Note the pumps on the right hand side are air pumps – and pump oxygen into the aeration tanks. 

BTW, the Iraqis painted the building this lovely color

(not sure what to call it….but I think they got it for a good price…..)

Well, this is a relatively short update. As I said, a lot of changes are happening here – especially with all of the planned draw-downs. But as with any change, you enjoy the good ones and you deal with the bad as best as you can. I will try and keep you up-to-date if my status here changes. Other than that, thank you for sharing my adventures and keep in touch as you can.

God Bless America

Mr. Wide

مهندس  واد  بروير

Bonus PHOTOS…..

Basrah Home Depot……

The Basrah Winn-Dixie…..

Week 28 - My Week In Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr! (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for “it’s over a hundred degrees outside….why does it feel so cold?”)

First, it was a GREAT RnR trip that I had – I have to admit to sitting around – doing way too much eating and sleeping. So it was a good, relaxing time. Jeanette and I got a few motorcycle trips in….even though we had to drive some of the time in the rain. BTW, I had not seen rain since May 7^th (I know that because the HoN requested I keep watch on this certain area the “next time it rained” – that was May 7^th – and it hasn’t rained since) – so it was nice to hit some cooler weather and see something falling from the sky besides sand and mortars.

If you are wondering, the highs here are still in the low 100’s and we are finally starting to see the 70’s at night…. so it is a nice break.

Okay, so what have I been doing? Well, first of all, the interpreters and local engineers were so happy to have me back – they brought me a ton of food. I have eaten so much Iraqi flat bread…well, if the Pillsbury Dough Boy got run over by a truck – HE might have more flat bread in him than there is in me… (I know….I know….why isn’t Comedy Central calling me???). Anyway, I am still having trouble getting my sleep schedule – but I am slowly “converting” to Iraqi time….

Another fun thing that has happened….. I have told you before that our non-potable water (the stuff in the showers and sinks, etc.) can get pretty scarce – for several reasons – they truck it in from another city – and delivery can be delayed – or if we have a problem with the sewer, they will secure water so the sewer tank won’t overflow…. (it used to happen that they would secure water several times a day while they would pump the sewer tank – but once I fixed the sewer – back in April – we have not secured water for that reason since then..) – so it happens every so often, but very infrequently now.  Now when they do secure water – it is unexpected.

So…. guess who is taking his 30 second shower (30 seconds of “water on” to get wet – turn off water, soap up – and then 30 seconds of “water on” to rinse). So I turn on the shower for the first 30 seconds – and I am TOTALLY “lathered up” (I know – TMI – but there is a point to this…)….and I go to turn on the shower for the second 30 seconds….and….. they….have….secured…..water…..AAAUUUGGGHH!

Now I look like a little, naked, rotund cloud…all frothy and fluffy….except for the soap is starting to get in my eyes….so I am hopping up and down – because my eyes are burning like crazy – and I look like a BOUNCY, rotund, fluffy cloud… and I don’t have anyway to rinse off my eyeballs. I start feeling around for the towel – just basically to wipe my eyes because we do have bottled water here (we only drink bottled water) – but in an emergency, you can use a bottle or two to “rinse off”. Well, I have a TON of bottled water right outside the bathroom door – right next to the fridge – and then - - -  I just remember that last night I stocked up the fridge with the rest of the bottled water that I had sitting there. So the only water I have is freezing cold. Now, my eyes start burning worse and it is really starting to hurt and this time wiping my eyes with the towel doesn’t work - so I run to the fridge - grasp at the first bottle I find (which…you guessed it - is freezing) and I run back to the shower, open it up and pour it onto my eyes……… AAAAUUUUUGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am debating which is worse – burning eyes or a freezing forehead…. it doesn’t matter cause I have BOTH. So my eyes are still burning – I try and pour more water on the towel and hold it to my eyes – but that gives me an extreme case of “ice cream headache” – and of course (the unthinkable…..) – gravity is taking over and little tricklets of cold water are going places they were NEVER MEANT TO GO! I finally open my eyes up enough to see what I am doing – and the first thing I notice is the towel is FULL OF BLOOD!  Ohmigosh….did I tear something? Did I cut myself? I start to panic – and am just about to run outside fully buck-'nekkid' to get help – when I realize…..last night, I had put some Crystal Light (raspberry ice) into one of the water bottles and placed it in the fridge. Out of all of the water bottles in there, I had grabbed that one and was pouring that mixture down my face…….  AAAAUUUUGGHH!

So here I am standing in the shower – freezing red water dripping down my body – my face is stuck in the freezing towel…..I hear this rumbling, grumbling noise …..and then you’ll never guess what happened….

Let’s take a pause here………

Hi friends……do you remember the last time you turned a knob – any old knob - and the expected reaction didn’t happen? Let’s say – oh…I don’t know – hypothetically speaking, how about the HOT WATER knob on your shower….  After the expected did not happen (no water)…..Did you remember to TURN IT OFF??!!?

OK, so… where was our hero? Oh yeah..…. I am standing in the shower – little frothy cloud – red, burny eyes – ice-cream-headache, looking like the final scene from a Stephen King movie – with freezing, red stuff dripping all over my body and face buried in a freezing wet towel – when I get hit FULL FORCE with piping hot water…. AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!

I do the only thing I can think of at the time – which is to pour the ice cold, crystal light, red water on my skin where the hot water is hitting it – and do the “dance of a thousand leeches” (you know – where you squirm and contort your body so you won’t have to touch one of the leeches – except for now I am dodging hot water streams….) – and finally I get the hot water turned off. The good news is – my eyes and forehead don’t hurt anymore – because my back and shoulders are now suffering from third degree burns – and I can’t feel anything but THAT throbbing pain. I am standing there – not sure of whether to go ask for a ticket home – or look for someone to punch – when I hear over the loud speaker, “We will secure water in a few minutes….please make preparations…..” (you can say it with me….)  AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!

So besides that fun little reminder of where I am, I wanted to share a trip that I took right as I was going on my RnR trip. The Iraqi Navy asked me if I could come over and look at the Basrah Maritime Academy.  Kind of think of this as the Iraqi version of the Naval Academy in Annapolis. When I asked the IqN about this place, they said it is “world famous” – when I told them I had never heard of it – they replied, “Well, it is world famous….in the middle east!” (think about it…..)

Google shot of the Basrah Maritime Academy.  The dock is right on the Euphrates.

Anyrate, Basrah is known as the city where the Tigris and the Euphrates meet. Below is a picture of the Euphrates from the dock of the Maritime Academy….and remember, this is where the Brits hit fierce resistance at the beginning of the liberation of Iraq.

Look closely – you can see the fisherman off in the distance….

Anyrate, it is a very interesting place – with a lot of history. Of course, I was there to mostly look at the facilities and see what kind of shape they were in (lousy) and see if I could help with master planning and any “short term” fixes. The Academy is where they are teaching the officers of the future about the technical side of the boats and ships. Back in 2003, the Coalition military….um….”assisted” in the “demolition phase” of the reconstruction project…..if you get my drift.

This was a large conference center/movie theater

 They are still teaching classes in portions of this complex – but the accommodations are rather rough – the power in Basrah is not on enough (only about 8 hours a day) – and when the electricity is about to come back on - an alarm sounds off city wide – one of the Commodores who was touring me said that alarm was one of the most happily anticipated sounds of the day.

The classrooms and the dorms are right next to each other…..

makes for a short commute…

Now, before you go and “blame” the US or even the Iraqi government for not being able to supply electrical power to the city of Basrah, I want you to understand something. It is NOT the power (i.e. generators or lack of power or absence of fuel) – it is the DISTRIBUTION of power that is the problem – and that is NOT an easy thing to fix. How bad is the problem?? – Well, this is a random picture that I took while we were driving through Basrah (BTW, I did NOT say – hey, look at all those wires – let me take a photo!....I was just taking random snapshots – and as I was reviewing at the end of the day – I found this photo)  – but it is NOT an unusual site in this part of the world…..

“Hello…Basrah Light and Power?  I think I have a cable that is loose….can you come check it out?”

 Also, don’t forget the fact that this is still a dangerous part of the world - as certain countries are throwing a LOT of money into Iraq right now to ensure chaos is happening – they want chaos (violence, rioting, etc.) I don’t want to get into a political discussion – but if you control Basrah – you control access to the 2 oil platforms – then you control the oil in Iraq. I can’t say too much – but understand that certain neighbors are challenging Iraq’s sovereignty DAILY (and that is from what I see/hear on the ground….you may not like/want to hear it – but those are the facts….).  So it is not like you can just send a team out to fix all the problems – without having to deal with violence, corruption, thievery, etc.

But enough of that….another fun thing I wanted to share with you. Below is a picture of a boat….an Iranian boat. During the Iraq/Iran war, this boat was captured from the Iranians. So the Iraqis brought it here (amongst great fanfare) to “study” it – and to help give them an “edge” in the war with Iran. Almost as soon as they docked it….. it sunk….. and here it sits to this day. But I thought you might enjoy a photo along with that story.

A US Army Captain – evaluating the Iranian boat….along the dock

 So as stated, that was a fun and interesting trip – and I am presently in the middle of writing up a “base master plan” for the Academy….below is one of our “parting pictures.” The Iraqis did give me another “award” for helping them.  I think I have gotten more *bling* from the Iraqis than Mr. T at a jewelry clearance sale.

Standing between the two Commodores (you can tell they are commodores – 3 stars and an eagle on the shoulder pad) and of course, I am easy to spot…..who has the COOLEST hat?!?

So, what is next on the horizon?  Well, remember how I said I was not going to talk about sewer anymore? I think I lied. We just awarded the renovation of the Iraqi Navy Waste Water Treatment Plant (you will see me call it WWTP in the future)…..and I will be starting to work on that in the coming weeks. Now the nice thing is this is where we take the “nasty” water – and make it “not so nasty”….and the way it gets treated and “converted” to not so nasty water – is kind of interesting – and for YOU – the GREAT thing is – you don’t have to deal with the smell as we are fixing it. But that is one of the projects I will be looking forward to sharing with you…..

Additionally, there is “change” in the air – as the troops draw-down – and the “managers” balance the workload – so there is talk of moving me (there is always “talk” or “reassignments” – you get used to it when you work for the government – although the Iraqi Navy has told me they don’t want me to move – of course, they have also asked me to come work for them….dangling that “4 wives and a flock of sheep” thing in front of me….). But don’t be surprised if I write from someplace else in the coming months. Just know that I am safe, well fed (probably too well fed), working hard to help the Iraqis and just trying to make a difference.

Once again, my time is at an end. It was great to be in the good ole US of A – even if only for a few weeks. It is good being here – I have made so many friends (both Iraqi and American) and it is nice seeing them again – but there is no place like home – and especially when that home is the land of the free – and the home of the brave.

God Bless America

Mr. Wide

مهندس  واد  بروير

Bonus Photo…..

Papparazzi….. they will never leave a person with a cool hat alone……