Greetings from Umm Qasr! (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for “it’s over a hundred degrees outside….why does it feel so cold?”)
First, it was a GREAT RnR trip that I had – I have to admit to sitting around – doing way too much eating and sleeping. So it was a good, relaxing time. Jeanette and I got a few motorcycle trips in….even though we had to drive some of the time in the rain. BTW, I had not seen rain since May 7th (I know that because the HoN requested I keep watch on this certain area the “next time it rained” – that was May 7th – and it hasn’t rained since) – so it was nice to hit some cooler weather and see something falling from the sky besides sand and mortars.
If you are wondering, the highs here are still in the low 100’s and we are finally starting to see the 70’s at night…. so it is a nice break.
Okay, so what have I been doing? Well, first of all, the interpreters and local engineers were so happy to have me back – they brought me a ton of food. I have eaten so much Iraqi flat bread…well, if the Pillsbury Dough Boy got run over by a truck – HE might have more flat bread in him than there is in me… (I know….I know….why isn’t Comedy Central calling me???). Anyway, I am still having trouble getting my sleep schedule – but I am slowly “converting” to Iraqi time….
Another fun thing that has happened….. I have told you before that our non-potable water (the stuff in the showers and sinks, etc.) can get pretty scarce – for several reasons – they truck it in from another city – and delivery can be delayed – or if we have a problem with the sewer, they will secure water so the sewer tank won’t overflow…. (it used to happen that they would secure water several times a day while they would pump the sewer tank – but once I fixed the sewer – back in April – we have not secured water for that reason since then..) – so it happens every so often, but very infrequently now. Now when they do secure water – it is unexpected.
So…. guess who is taking his 30 second shower (30 seconds of “water on” to get wet – turn off water, soap up – and then 30 seconds of “water on” to rinse). So I turn on the shower for the first 30 seconds – and I am TOTALLY “lathered up” (I know – TMI – but there is a point to this…)….and I go to turn on the shower for the second 30 seconds….and….. they….have….secured…..water…..AAAUUUGGGHH!
Now I look like a little, naked, rotund cloud…all frothy and fluffy….except for the soap is starting to get in my eyes….so I am hopping up and down – because my eyes are burning like crazy – and I look like a BOUNCY, rotund, fluffy cloud… and I don’t have anyway to rinse off my eyeballs. I start feeling around for the towel – just basically to wipe my eyes because we do have bottled water here (we only drink bottled water) – but in an emergency, you can use a bottle or two to “rinse off”. Well, I have a TON of bottled water right outside the bathroom door – right next to the fridge – and then - - - I just remember that last night I stocked up the fridge with the rest of the bottled water that I had sitting there. So the only water I have is freezing cold. Now, my eyes start burning worse and it is really starting to hurt and this time wiping my eyes with the towel doesn’t work - so I run to the fridge - grasp at the first bottle I find (which…you guessed it - is freezing) and I run back to the shower, open it up and pour it onto my eyes……… AAAAUUUUUGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I am debating which is worse – burning eyes or a freezing forehead…. it doesn’t matter cause I have BOTH. So my eyes are still burning – I try and pour more water on the towel and hold it to my eyes – but that gives me an extreme case of “ice cream headache” – and of course (the unthinkable…..) – gravity is taking over and little tricklets of cold water are going places they were NEVER MEANT TO GO! I finally open my eyes up enough to see what I am doing – and the first thing I notice is the towel is FULL OF BLOOD! Ohmigosh….did I tear something? Did I cut myself? I start to panic – and am just about to run outside fully buck-'nekkid' to get help – when I realize…..last night, I had put some Crystal Light (raspberry ice) into one of the water bottles and placed it in the fridge. Out of all of the water bottles in there, I had grabbed that one and was pouring that mixture down my face……. AAAAUUUUGGHH!
So here I am standing in the shower – freezing red water dripping down my body – my face is stuck in the freezing towel…..I hear this rumbling, grumbling noise …..and then you’ll never guess what happened….
Let’s take a pause here………
Hi friends……do you remember the last time you turned a knob – any old knob - and the expected reaction didn’t happen? Let’s say – oh…I don’t know – hypothetically speaking, how about the HOT WATER knob on your shower…. After the expected did not happen (no water)…..Did you remember to TURN IT OFF??!!?
OK, so… where was our hero? Oh yeah..…. I am standing in the shower – little frothy cloud – red, burny eyes – ice-cream-headache, looking like the final scene from a Stephen King movie – with freezing, red stuff dripping all over my body and face buried in a freezing wet towel – when I get hit FULL FORCE with piping hot water…. AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!
I do the only thing I can think of at the time – which is to pour the ice cold, crystal light, red water on my skin where the hot water is hitting it – and do the “dance of a thousand leeches” (you know – where you squirm and contort your body so you won’t have to touch one of the leeches – except for now I am dodging hot water streams….) – and finally I get the hot water turned off. The good news is – my eyes and forehead don’t hurt anymore – because my back and shoulders are now suffering from third degree burns – and I can’t feel anything but THAT throbbing pain. I am standing there – not sure of whether to go ask for a ticket home – or look for someone to punch – when I hear over the loud speaker, “We will secure water in a few minutes….please make preparations…..” (you can say it with me….) AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!
So besides that fun little reminder of where I am, I wanted to share a trip that I took right as I was going on my RnR trip. The Iraqi Navy asked me if I could come over and look at the Basrah Maritime Academy. Kind of think of this as the Iraqi version of the Naval Academy in Annapolis. When I asked the IqN about this place, they said it is “world famous” – when I told them I had never heard of it – they replied, “Well, it is world famous….in the middle east!” (think about it…..)
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| Google shot of the Basrah Maritime Academy. The dock is right on the Euphrates. |
Anyrate, Basrah is known as the city where the Tigris and the Euphrates meet. Below is a picture of the Euphrates from the dock of the Maritime Academy….and remember, this is where the Brits hit fierce resistance at the beginning of the liberation of Iraq.
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| Look closely – you can see the fisherman off in the distance…. |
Anyrate, it is a very interesting place – with a lot of history. Of course, I was there to mostly look at the facilities and see what kind of shape they were in (lousy) and see if I could help with master planning and any “short term” fixes. The Academy is where they are teaching the officers of the future about the technical side of the boats and ships. Back in 2003, the Coalition military….um….”assisted” in the “demolition phase” of the reconstruction project…..if you get my drift.
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| This was a large conference center/movie theater |
They are still teaching classes in portions of this complex – but the accommodations are rather rough – the power in Basrah is not on enough (only about 8 hours a day) – and when the electricity is about to come back on - an alarm sounds off city wide – one of the Commodores who was touring me said that alarm was one of the most happily anticipated sounds of the day.
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| The classrooms and the dorms are right next to each other….. |
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| makes for a short commute… |
Now, before you go and “blame” the US or even the Iraqi government for not being able to supply electrical power to the city of Basrah, I want you to understand something. It is NOT the power (i.e. generators or lack of power or absence of fuel) – it is the DISTRIBUTION of power that is the problem – and that is NOT an easy thing to fix. How bad is the problem?? – Well, this is a random picture that I took while we were driving through Basrah (BTW, I did NOT say – hey, look at all those wires – let me take a photo!....I was just taking random snapshots – and as I was reviewing at the end of the day – I found this photo) – but it is NOT an unusual site in this part of the world…..
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| “Hello…Basrah Light and Power? I think I have a cable that is loose….can you come check it out?” |
Also, don’t forget the fact that this is still a dangerous part of the world - as certain countries are throwing a LOT of money into Iraq right now to ensure chaos is happening – they want chaos (violence, rioting, etc.) I don’t want to get into a political discussion – but if you control Basrah – you control access to the 2 oil platforms – then you control the oil in Iraq. I can’t say too much – but understand that certain neighbors are challenging Iraq’s sovereignty DAILY (and that is from what I see/hear on the ground….you may not like/want to hear it – but those are the facts….). So it is not like you can just send a team out to fix all the problems – without having to deal with violence, corruption, thievery, etc.
But enough of that….another fun thing I wanted to share with you. Below is a picture of a boat….an Iranian boat. During the Iraq/Iran war, this boat was captured from the Iranians. So the Iraqis brought it here (amongst great fanfare) to “study” it – and to help give them an “edge” in the war with Iran. Almost as soon as they docked it….. it sunk….. and here it sits to this day. But I thought you might enjoy a photo along with that story.
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| A US Army Captain – evaluating the Iranian boat….along the dock |
So as stated, that was a fun and interesting trip – and I am presently in the middle of writing up a “base master plan” for the Academy….below is one of our “parting pictures.” The Iraqis did give me another “award” for helping them. I think I have gotten more *bling* from the Iraqis than Mr. T at a jewelry clearance sale.
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| Standing between the two Commodores (you can tell they are commodores – 3 stars and an eagle on the shoulder pad) and of course, I am easy to spot…..who has the COOLEST hat?!? |
So, what is next on the horizon? Well, remember how I said I was not going to talk about sewer anymore? I think I lied. We just awarded the renovation of the Iraqi Navy Waste Water Treatment Plant (you will see me call it WWTP in the future)…..and I will be starting to work on that in the coming weeks. Now the nice thing is this is where we take the “nasty” water – and make it “not so nasty”….and the way it gets treated and “converted” to not so nasty water – is kind of interesting – and for YOU – the GREAT thing is – you don’t have to deal with the smell as we are fixing it. But that is one of the projects I will be looking forward to sharing with you…..
Additionally, there is “change” in the air – as the troops draw-down – and the “managers” balance the workload – so there is talk of moving me (there is always “talk” or “reassignments” – you get used to it when you work for the government – although the Iraqi Navy has told me they don’t want me to move – of course, they have also asked me to come work for them….dangling that “4 wives and a flock of sheep” thing in front of me….). But don’t be surprised if I write from someplace else in the coming months. Just know that I am safe, well fed (probably too well fed), working hard to help the Iraqis and just trying to make a difference.
Once again, my time is at an end. It was great to be in the good ole US of A – even if only for a few weeks. It is good being here – I have made so many friends (both Iraqi and American) and it is nice seeing them again – but there is no place like home – and especially when that home is the land of the free – and the home of the brave.
God Bless America
Mr. Wide
مهندس واد بروير
Bonus Photo…..
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| Papparazzi….. they will never leave a person with a cool hat alone…… |
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