Week 13 - My Week In Iraq

Sallam Allekum (peace be upon you).  Shloneck? (how are you?)
Greetings from Umm Qasr (Umm Qasr – which is Arabic for “would you like sand with that?”). So how has your week been? 
Mine has been interesting (as usual) – but two significant events happened this week – one, I hit the ¼ mark  - 13 weeks (and just so you know, I don’t believe in “countdowns” or “marking off days” – as that means you are missing the most important day….today!) AND this week was officially the start of….. SUMMER! Yes, as I sit in my office and it is 114 degrees outside (that’s right –we are in a “cool spell”), that pretty soon it is going to get REALLY HOT! Can’t wait      -----    really    -------    just........can't............wait.
Just so you know, when you go out here – it is NOT just the heat. The heat is unbearable – however, throw in wind that is 30-50 mph (almost constantly) and it gets nasty. I wear long sleeve shirts and people ask why I don’t sweat. The wind blows the clothes dry in minutes (imagine being in your clothes dryer – except this is not as fun). I have been jogging (inside the air-conditioned gym) on a treadmill and I get soaked. I come out and walk one lap of the camp (and I have told you, this is a small camp….it is not much bigger than a very small farm) – but, by the time I finish my “lap” – my clothes are almost dry.
AND – it is not just the heat and the wind - the sand continually gets thrown at you. That is why I run in the gym. Again, the sand is more like talcum powder than “beach sand.” When the wind picks up really nasty – you have to put your hand in front of your eyes and squint – just so you can see to get to your spot.
All of the above really do some weird things to your body (and remember, the Pastors/Mother/Granddaughter clause – I am not getting specific or gross) – but the place it affects me most is inside my ears…. (told you….weird) – but my ears get so irritated and sore. The sand can collect in there – and when I take a shower – I am constantly “focusing” on cleaning out my ears…. as I said. Weird.
So last week, I showed you some of the designs I am doing for the Iraqi Marines. This week, I am going to show you a little bit of what we are doing on our camp. We do have some major projects going on that will improve our “quality of life” – the most important is that we are having the electrical problems fixed (hopefully, this summer). Now we are on our own electrical system– but the nearby city of Umm Qasr is not – and most people there only get about 8 hours of power per day. But we are not affected by their power shortages. And I have done a few things to help them with their power supply, but it is still not enough.
But, what I wanted to show you is going to be our new AAFES area (Army and Air Force Exchange Service) – we are also going to put in our Haji shop (it is currently “nestled” in another area), a new barber shop/beauty shop (I wonder if they will do “mani-pedis”???), a Green Beanery (coffee place), the self-serve laundry (new) as well as a POTENTIAL Subway! ($5 says Jared never makes it over here for the grand opening). But right now, it is - - - this:

Another Future Cool Area in Iraq brought to you by Mr. Wide

In its final form

The round area will be bordered by concrete or bricks, the “rectangles with writing in them are CHUs – converted into little stores. The green will be some type of grass, we will have some overhead coverings over this area as well – and we will have (gasp!) a FOUNTAIN! – right where the small blue area is.  What is not to love?

Yes, this entire sand swept area – I am calling it “Umm Qasr Knot” (meaning it is NOT Umm Qasr – but “knot” sounds so much more like a nautical term….)
Also, I don’t remember if I told you, but I share an office with the senior military member (Navy) Captain Myles Esmele. He is a great guy and we have a lot of fun (except for he is also the “ethics officer” – so I am really struggling here)…. well, we have kind of “renovated” our office to more “suit” our personalities.  (And to anybody from my work at Wright Patt – I did NOT make another superhero office) – but what we did do is take down some old file cabinets and an old drafting table and put up this:

The Jingly Shop at Myles and Wade’s

Now, Myles is a tea drinker – and I am a coffee drinker – but we both have wives that spoil us rotten (he married his high school sweetheart as well – but they waited until after he graduated college to get married) and they both send us a ton of food. Neither of us are real big eaters – but we enjoy “spoiling” the other people here on camp (the US sailors, soldiers and civilians as well as the local Iraqis, and Iraqi sailors and soldiers that grace our presence). And in our “old” setup, it was hard to see what we had available to pass out to everyone – so with this layout, people can come in and browse. What is funny is that one time, an Iraqi Officer came in and asked if we were “selling” the stuff. Myles has joked that we should put up a price list. I think if we ever get booted out of the Government, Myles and I should open up a shop. But the people around camp call this the “jingly shop.”

Commander Bell, Your hero, General Hassan and Capt Esmele

Speaking of Myles, here is a photo with Myles and I last week when we visited the Iraqi Marines. Also, we are both trying to learn Arabic. He is having better success than I, but here is another part of our office:

“the board” in Arabic

What is great is that our office is kind of like the “social” hangout – and every time an Iraqi comes in, they try and teach us a bit more Arabic. FYI – the top of the board is the days of the week; the right hand side is numbers (from one – wahid – to twenty – eshreen). The stuff in the middle of the board is the months – we keep rearranging the board – but I can say stuff like – today is Friday, the 24^th of June…ellyom, Jomaa – arbe wa eshreen Hayazaron.  (of course, that is the phonetic spelling because I am not using Arabic letters.) But it is kind of fun to learn while we are here.

It is amazing how many of the Iraqis LOVE to teach us how to speak Arabic. I was having trouble (constantly) with this one gate guard. One day this week, I had to go out (once again) because he was holding up one of my vendors. At that time, a vendor was bringing me ten AC units (split packs). So I go out there, with my shades, my gun and “the hat” – and I tell the guard – “ashre sablats (ten split packs) – NO Tisa (9) sablats” – And the guard starts laughing and I tell him that I can count to ten – so HE COUNTS WITH ME – and then we start counting up to twenty.
Well, (knock on wood) – the guy has been the nicest guy since then. As I said, that may change, but it sure is nice to “win” someone over. And of course, all of the interpreters bring Myles and I food. Now, we both constantly try and give them money – but they won’t accept. It is a little embarrassing , as they don’t make a lot of money. But they told us – it is an insult to them if we offer them money – they do this to make friends. So, we give them food – or make dinners for them – or we send stuff to their children – and they absolutely love that.
Well, dear friends, I must go once again. My time with you is short – but I hope you are enjoying the adventure. As I have said many times…..I am proud to be here representing you all. I am proud of my servicemen and women who are working so hard to help the Iraqis. I am proud of my fellow citizens who are working here alongside me and I am proud of the Iraqis that are working so hard alongside us. Most of all, I am proud to be from the good ole US of A.

God Bless America

Wade “Mr. Wide”

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