Week 18 - My Week In Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr! (Umm Qasr – which I believe is Arabic for “…anyone who sings ‘the SUN will come out…to-morrow’ will automatically get beaten up by bystanders – no matter their nationality”). I hope you have had a pleasant week.
I hear the “states” have been going through a hot spell – and yes it is probably warmer here – but we are prepared for it (kind of like when you live in the northern portion of the country – and you hear about the south being shut down completely for 2 inches of snow….). The “heat” can sneak up on you. I actually had an experience this week – I was outside in the heat for two solid days (I drank plenty) but because it was hot and I was drinking so much water – I was not hungry, so I didn’t eat. I got sick and had to stay inside for a few days. I am fine now – I caught it early and we had a good response team – so I had nothing more than a headache after a few hours. But even when you prepare for it – you have to be careful in the extreme heat.

Okay, so what else have I been doing? Well, I have been working and playing hard and trying to make a difference. One fun thing I got to do this week….. the HoN (remember Head of Navy) asked me to take a little trip to a Headquarters Area he is building and to start looking at some old buildings to renovate (one of my specialties), as well as make a master plan for the base (another one of my specialties), and look at the infrastructure (yep … specialty too), and go through a new building they just built and correct all of the deficiencies (not even gonna say it this time….). So I took the boat ride up the river….

Yep….some people just “ooze” cool….
no matter what part of the world they are in…

And we finally dock near the “generator ship” that you see in the above picture. Now, the port is pretty big and requires a lot of power. If you look at the very front of the ship – you see it comes with its own electrical substation. There are 15 exhaust stacks – meaning 15 generators on board and only 3 were working (notice the smoke) – and to power what they power, that means there are some HUGE generators on there. This ship supplies electricity to the port 24/7. This is a real engineering feat.

Alright, so I go up to the area that they want me to start renovating…. a few things stick out….

Guess whose happy little face used to be planted here??

We walk into the building – and there was a place where someone’s silhouette used to be…. hmm… wonder who? BTW, I can’t show you the rest of the wall – without some serious mental damage. This was one of the scenes of some really hard fought battles with the British – and once the Brits came in – well, let’s just say that they have their own peculiar sense of what is funny. (BTW, the Brits did the same thing to the Americans – when they rotated out of Umm Qasr.  Not sure why they feel that scratching large drawings of private parts on a fire truck is so hilarious – but hey, they are British – nobody understands their humor…).

After the battle in this area was over, the locals came in and stripped everything but the bricks. And if they couldn’t remove it – they broke it trying. So all of the electrical, the door jambs, even the flooring has been removed from these buildings. (Of course, I look at it from a construction point of view….”HEY! less money for demolition!!”). Structurally, the buildings are all fine. But as I said, this was the scene of some pretty nasty battles….

That’s not termite damage….and some go all the way through….

That’s gotta hurt…..notice the “blast shadow” on the left wall….eerie…

Now overall, you would think that this assignment would be a little boring – renovating some old buildings into offices…. however – as I was walking around – I came upon this…

SPIRES!!  I LOVE SPIRES!  How cool is this gonna be!!!

(can you hear it?.....”HA-ley-lu-Ya…HA-ley-lu-Ya”)

I took one look at this and (with the “Hallelujah Chorus” going off in my head…) said, “OH…. MY…. GOSH!!” Can YOU SEE this!? WHOA baby …there is some cool stuff I can do here. The brick building in the background is going to be the new DFAC and this area is going to be a “court” and I am going to do SOMETHING with those spires! There are just SO MANY cool ways to go…. this is the Iraqi Navy HQ – so I could go with some type of wind sail or boat-related ideas – or I could add things to make them anchors – or conning towers – on and on and on. But the point is these are going to be the centerpiece of the new IqN Headquarters area - and I get to design it! I am still working on theme (FYI – the spires were originally to hold a cover for the area – ahh….. and now, it will still be a cover – but it will be SO MUCH more….). Another “Mr. Wide Original”. I am having my two local engineers go to the area next week and start getting all the measurements – so I can start “designing…..”….heh-heh-heh. (Can you hear the gears turning in my head??) And I get paid for doing this….
So we hopped back in the boat and headed for home. FYI, I was riding in a Defender boat – I have shown pictures before – but here is another photo – you notice that it has an air-conditioned cab – but I didn’t come to Iraq to ride in the cab….so I was upfront on the bow – baby….. upfront on the bow.

If you look close on the cab you can see “Iraqi Navy” on the door (just in case you thought I was actually sending you all
of these updates from Guadalajara or something….)

Which brings up another interesting item. In the states, if I go out in the sun for a half hour – I am LOBSTER RED - I sunburn at the drop of a hat (even a cool hat…). Here, I have been outside for HOURS with no suntan lotion on or anything – and I haven’t burnt yet. I got a little red on the arms and neck – but no real sunburns. I asked the locals – and they think it is the “thick ozone layer”. I am sure there is a scientific explanation – but I still say it is so hot here that all of the UV rays melt before they make it to my skin …… ;-p
Of course, for me – my favorite time is anytime I get to laugh and talk and hear the Iraqi people’s stories. And I like to tell my stories as well. As I have told you, the interpreters love working with us – for several reasons – but they always volunteer when Myles (my office mate) and I have something going on – because they know we are going to have a good time – no matter what we will be doing.
The biggest complaint the interpreters have (same as my wife….), I get carried away and I don’t give them enough time to talk. I constantly hear them say something like, “Mr. Wide, you have to give us time to interpret. You get so emotional (I think they mean passionate) about what you talk about – that I spend my time listening to you talk and I forget to interpret. Then I have to turn to the General (or whomever) and try to interpret all that you just said!” And you might have heard a rumor or two – but I can occasionally get slightly carried away…. just slightly – especially when I get to talk about what I love doing.

I just threw this in – so you can see that I do occasionally eat “American food” – but unfortunately, it is prepared by the Indians who run our DFAC – so I think I was done eating by the time this photo was taken….The guy sitting next to me is a Staff LtCdr and the guy across from me is the Captain of one of the boats (and he invited me to dinner!)

So that is it for this week. I love throwing Iraqi words into these weekly updates – you know, I can’t write them in Arabic – even if I wanted to – and of course most of you couldn’t read them (and it is really hard to write some of these letters), so I give you the “phonetic spelling” of the words. So for now I will bid you all “a-shoe-fawk  buy-a-den!” – which means “see you later!”  (Well, either that or “I’m a French-fried tractor!” – you never know with these interpreters – they LOVE to play jokes on me).

Thank you for sharing some of my adventures this week. I look forward to the time I can see your smiling faces and hear your laughter in person.

God Bless America!

Mr. Wide

 مهندس  واد  بروير

Week 17 - My Week In Iraq

Good Morning!

Greetings from Umm Qasr (Umm Qasr – which I believe is Arabic for “…..where the sandwiches are made with REAL SAND!”)
I hope you have had a good week. Here (as most people like to ask) the weather has been “cooler” – mostly in the high teens (that’s 100+teens – like 117 or 118) – but it is still a “cold spell” compared to a few weeks ago when we popped over the 120 mark and had some very humid days as well.

There is no story with this….
I just wanted to show you what the guys
from the Iraqi Navy brought me the other night…..

This story has nothing to do with the food above. I just wanted to “rub it in” that I (occasionally) get some REALLY good food. And the rest of the time, I eat at the DFAC.

Okay, I am not sure how to take this, but here is what happened. Do you remember the interpreter (Haleem) who got a cake for his little girl’s (Zaeban) first birthday party (the one that said United States Army – and he told everyone it said Happy Birth Day)? Well, his little girl got really sick and she wound up in the hospital. At first, Haleem took her to the hospital here in Umm Qasr (where the hospital is “free”) – but she wound up getting sicker and sicker. So finally, he took her out of that hospital and took her to a private hospital in Basrah. It will cost him a lot more money now (and no, this is not a plea for money…) – but – she finally started getting better – but she was in big trouble there for awhile.

Well, any rate, Haleem’s wife (Sopha) was feeling really depressed (even though her baby was getting better) – but she was thinking about the bills and how the air conditioner is not working (due to power outages, etc.) and taking care of the other two young boys. But she was getting into a real funk. So Haleem told her he has a solution to make her feel better.

Next thing I know, I get a call on my “haje” phone – it is Haleem. He says to me, “Mr. Wade, you talk Arabic to my wife.” And he hands her the phone.

So we talk in Arabic for a few minutes and she is laughing hysterically. I wish it was because I said some funny things…. but, I think it was because I said some things funny. I said your typical Arabic greetings such as “hello” and “how are you” and “I am very hungry for rice and chicken and soup” and “please bring me Iraqi flatbread.” You know….. standard greetings. So we hang up and the next day, Haleem tells me how his wife is doing great thanks to me.

“She laugh so hard at your Arabic…. she say ‘why he want to learn Arabic?’ But you make her feel real good.”

Yep. So thanks to me, there is another happy Iraqi somewhere. Yep – another satisfied customer… that is why I came here. As long as I can help…. don’t care how – don’t care why.

Another thing we are getting ready for is Ramadan. Now, just because some “stupid-heads” want to start violence and cause trouble during Ramadan – that is not what most people here think about. This is a religious festival – it is the ninth month of the Islamic Calendar and it is the most holy or sacred period of the Muslim year. If you are interested – Muslims believe that this is when Allah revealed the Quran to the prophet Muhammad. And REAL Muslims – do NOT believe in killing people or hurting people in the name of God. Just like REAL Christians (or Jews or Hindus or whomever) don’t believe that either.

Here is some of the interesting stuff about Ramadan - from sunrise to sunset, Muslims are expected to abstain from eating, drinking, smoking, and having sex…. in America… we call this….

 “GETTING MARRIED…”
Okay, okay – stop yelling! I was just kidding. But basically, the period of “fasting” is called Sawm (and you can get “waivers” if you are ill or if you have a baby and are nursing, etc.) – but mostly this is a period where during the day, people are to put more effort into following the teachings of Islam (and become closer to God). Ramadan is “moon-based” (i.e., don’t know the exact date). But this year it is supposed to start around 1 August and end around the end of the month. Now…. I know you are all dying to know – how does this affect Mr. Wide?
Well, the biggest issue is that “fasting” includes all water (I have ZERO problem with the other stuff) but, it is so hot here, that for the workers to go all day without water – is pretty tough on them (again, we are in the 110+ temperatures) and to go from 5 am to 7 or 8 pm without water is VERY stressful on anybody. So we make certain allowances…..

1^st. The work day is from approximately from 7 am to 2pm

2^nd. If we have meetings – we will try to schedule them in the morning

3^rd. You DO NOT eat or drink in front of anyone fasting (that is considered  EXTREMELY “tacky”)

4^th. For manual laborers, we let them rest a lot more than usual.

So you may be saying to yourself, ”Hey – how can they basically stop – or do very little work for almost a full month – and get away with that??” I would reply….”go to any government office between Thanksgiving and New Years.” Except instead of fasting – we do the exact opposite and see how much food we can eat. (BTW, I do not mean to insult or slam government workers – as 90 percent of those that I have known and worked with are hard workers. But, my (hopefully humorous) point is that we tend to do this around our holidays – and it is no big deal – so I think we can cut the Islamic workers a little bit of slack as well.
Now, I will also say this – for those of you who are saying, “Well, I know Muslims are violent…yadda-yadda-yadda.” Remember when I started all of this – I told you – I am going to tell you what I see – NOT what I read in the newspapers or watch on TV. I have met MANY Muslims since I have been here. And sure, this may not be a representative sample of all of the Muslim population – but the ones I have met love their families, love to eat and laugh, and are so generous – it is embarrassing. Even the “rich” here are not much better off than the average person in America. And that is what I see.

Any rate, I thought you might enjoy a little bit of “my perspective” about Ramadan. Okay, on to my week. Well, one “unusual” thing happened. Most of the people who work for me know that I am a fun guy – but certain things can and do “set me off.” And I try to control my irritation – but it gets hard when I am tired or really busy. From the Iraqi perspective – the one thing that sets me off is when they are lazy or take a “lackadaisical” attitude (and btw, luckily I had spell check – as I would have never gotten up the energy to go find a dictionary and look up that word to see if I spelled it correctly……)….(think about it…..)  Yeah…I know – hysterical….I crack me up!

So, I had a project to move these big, old containers (CHUs) that we live in – and I had to coordinate with the Iraqi Navy (IqN) – as I was taking the electrical power down to the IqN base. So I arrange for this large (50 Ton) crane and flatbed truck to be here at 7 am - and work until about lunch time (that way the power was off only during the morning and we could get the AC units back working before it got REAL hot…)
So I have my two engineers and these two local boys (to help me move concrete blocks around) – but they are at the IqN front gate at 7 am. No crane or truck. So I email the company (they didn’t answer their phone) and they write back about 7:30, “Crane and truck are at front gate – please get someone to escort them”. Now, this is a typical “ploy” as it usually takes us awhile to get someone out to the front gate. But they didn’t know I had people “staged” there.
So I wrote back, “I have two people out at the front gate – they found two other workers for today. I think they would be able to spot a crane and a flatbed.”  (BTW, the “front gate” is about the size of a small parking lot – so it would be pretty hard to “get lost”).
No response from that email – they finally show up at the gate at 8:30 – and now I have to get them through all the searching and other stuff. By the time they finally get ready to work, it is almost 10 am.  The IqN group is asking when we will turn off the power – and I send one of my electrical engineers to go turn off the power. The driver of the crane comes up and says, “We want lunch in an hour – and by the way – we go home at 4 pm.” (I again invoke the Pastors, Mom and Granddaughter clause in this writing as to the exact terms of my reply). But needless to say, I was a little irritated.

I threw them off the base – right then and there. I started telling Amjad (one of the local engineers who works for me) – as I have told other Iraqis in similar situations – that they should be “madder than me” as these guys who are being lazy and slothful are representing their country. He looks at me and says, “You are right, Mr. Wade” – and he turns and starts yelling at the driver as well. I have never seen a crane and flatbed leave so fast.

So now, there are two local young men – they were just to be laborers for the day (and, BTW, I pay VERY well…). They just saw me yell at the drivers, they just saw Amjad turn and yell at the driver – and their eyes are wide as baby moon hubcaps. They are just staring – hoping that we won’t start on them. So I tell Amjad to mention to them that I will still give them a full day’s work – so they don’t have to worry. They worked REALLY hard that day.

Now, I am not proud of this, but I have thrown Iraqis off the base before – usually when it involves them coming in and not doing their work and wanting us to give them water or gas (we have actually “caught” one guy saying he ran out of gas – and then we found out he had a kill switch installed under the hood and he was running a scam), wanting us to give them food, sunglasses, or other things. Basically just trying to mess around most of the day and not do what they were hired for.

Well, that gets my “lecture” going – usually to them, the interpreter, their boss, and anyone within shouting distance. I start telling them that they are adding to the “stereotype” of the lazy Iraqi – and that they are doing a dis-service to their country and that if they want their country to succeed, they will quit being lazy and get back to work. People (US Forces and others) walk by and see them screwing around and they don’t want me to hire them any more. It makes it harder for me to ask for more jobs for the local Iraqis – on and on I go – so they are usually happy to be thrown out by the time I finish my lecture.

The interpreters, who usually have to interpret my lectures (my kids always called these “lectures” - “rantings”), but the interpreters LOVE it when I have done this. For one, the interpreters get to be really animated (which they like), two, they are hard-working – so they tend to agree with me…. and three, I think the Iraqis LOVE passion – and they like the fact that I am passionate about what I do and what I believe. And I don’t apologize for being passionate about what I do.

I hope the above stories don’t come across as being too harsh. My intolerance is for a lazy or bad attitude. And do you know what will wreck Iraq quicker than us pulling out immediately? It is for us to “accept that all Iraqis” are like that.

They are not.

I have met SO MANY good, hard-working, life-loving, Iraqis that I don’t want to “cheapen” their ambitions and dreams and goals by accepting the lazy, shiftless ones as “the norm.”

Me and a couple of the “shiftless Iraqis”
(I am kidding – these are IqN Captains Lefta and Hameed –
really good Naval Officers –
we are having an “animated conversation
 about a project I have going on)

Well, my dear ones, it is time for me to go. Outside my office - it is hot, sandy, windy and there is a “world of need” awaiting me. And yes, I am needed here – I have much work to do before I go. There are many deserving people here and I have to get to work and do my part – so that eventually, there won’t be any little baby girls getting sick because of lack of electrical power. Eventually, there won’t be people dying of cholera, hepatitis or other diseases – because of lack of proper sewer systems and clean water. Eventually, there will be peace and prosperity in this land – and I can only affect that by me getting out there and doing the best that I can – for the Iraqis, for the American people that sent me here, and my country that I love so much.

God Bless America

“Mr. Wide”

مهندس  واد  بروير

Week 16 - My Week In Iraq

Good morning (or evening – depending upon where you live).

Greetings from Umm Qasr (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for “Earth, Wind and Fire – not just a 70’s band – but tomorrow’s FORECAST!!”)

And in case you got on Facebook and couldn’t figure out what this is…. this is the water heater to my room. And there is no trick photography…. that is the actual size. Guess how long of a hot shower I can take in the winter? And just realize, in some cases this is “shared” between 8 guys (both showers and sinks.)

Anyway, I hope that you have had a good, fun, and productive week. Over here in the “big sandbox” we have been doing all kinds of fun things. First, the weather has been a nice “balmy” 115-120’s (sometimes, we just use Celsius because 50 degrees sounds way colder than 115.) The great thing is that now, not only has the wind picked up even more - BUT - the humidity is on the rise. One day, it was just a dry heat. Then the next day, it was like living in a sauna – except it doesn’t smell that good… I have literally walked out the door and my shirt has imme-diately stuck to my body with sweat.

That’s the great thing about being in the southern part of Iraq – the weather sucks SO BAD – that even the food in the DFAC doesn’t taste…that…ba…..okay – never mind. Even I can’t be that positive.

Okay, so it has been one of those weeks where I have either sat in the office and “fought the battle of Umm Qasr with the bureaucrats in Baghdad” or I have been out at a Waste Water Treatment Plant that caught fire - trying to get that fixed (long story) – so one of my very good friends back at home suggested that I do a “Day In The Life Of – Mr. Wide”. Now, I can’t completely capture everything – as my day can be as varied as – sit in the office and do designs – or meet with the Minister of Defense - or riding in an MRAP to tour a General or Admiral around– or to stick my head inside a sewer. So I will just hit some of my routines – my living conditions and what my day is like. I hope you enjoy spending the day with me.

First, I like to get up early – so I rise from my bed around 0430, get up, shave, brush my teeth and get dressed. I usually wear my cargo pants and a button-up-the-front, long sleeve shirt – and of course – the gun and “the hat.”

Mr. Wide’s living hootch – from right to left –

my Iraqi easy chair, my desk, the tv, the “cot”

(look closely and you will see the superhero pjs),

the wardrobe  and my little fridge.

All of this is my little slice of Iraqi heaven.

I am lucky that I am a senior civilian (NOT senior CITIZEN….) – and I get my own “hootch” and I have my own private bathroom. Many people live 4 to a room – and have to leave their rooms to take a shower and go potty….plus, I just recently received a new ac unit. I also have satellite tv and computer access (both at my own expense) – but I have it pretty good as far as accommodations. Although I really don’t use the tv that much because I usually spend most of my awake hours in the office. My “commute” is about 100 paces – down a gravelly walkway.

Some things can blossom ANYWHERE!!!

Things I see on my morning commute.

On Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday – I go get my laundry first thing – and drop off the dirty laundry (it takes two days to get the laundry back and of course, Fridays is a “holy day” so they don’t pick up or deliver laundry on that day.)

The laundry used to be thrown in a large bin and

I would need to crawl around to find it.

I changed to shelves – easier to find your laundry….

The “laundry service” is pretty simple – I put the laundry into a bag and it comes back clean and folded. Of course, their version of folded is pretty close to my version of “wadded up into a ball right after it comes out of the dryer – so it has more wrinkles than Phyllis Diller at 85.” But, hey, it is a service. Think of it like the DFAC - it has food. Just not good food.  And we have laundry service. Just not good laundry service. But – like my mother used to tell me - I am sure there are civil servants over in China going without laundry – so I will just smile and be happy.

Notice my dress shirt?  This is the “folding service” that we

pay extra for…..nothing like quality, eh?  

FYI, no underwear was shown in this photo……editor

Now, I usually get into the office about 0530 or 0600 and it is (most of the time) quiet – so I get myself a cup of coffee and slowly go through the emails and read them. About 0800 Myles (Navy Captain Myles Esmele – my “brother from another mother”) comes in and we discuss the day.

Myles was offered a bigger and more comfortable office (and I could then keep this one to myself) – but we both refused. We have a BLAST together. Myles loves the Iraqi people (and they love him) – and all of the interpreters and local engineers love to come and visit us in the morning.

Hopefully, one of the locals will bring in some Samoon (the Iraqi Flatbread). We usually have the (warm and fluffy) flatbread for breakfast. The bread is absolutely cheap over here – so they normally bring us like 10 or so… and of course, we eat it together with the Iraqis - and talk about our day or new projects or our families – or we will try and learn new Arabic words while we are eating (“ana kilish jo-an”… I am very hungry). I like to cut the samoon in half, spread cream cheese or peanut butter and jelly or jam on it – and then fold it back over. This photo shows the samoon with cream cheese and melon jam (out of a can) spread all over it. It is ABSOLUTELY delicious.

And because it is made in Iraq – it has NO CALORIES!! 

So shortly after that, we get on with the day – usually there are meetings with the Iraqis – every Sunday and Thursday we have formal sit-down meetings with the Iraqi leadership. Most of it is in Arabic, so I try and read the slides (I am learning the alphabet) and I try to pick out the words I understand (numbers, other words like “mujare” (sewer) or “karbahay” (electrical) or “my” (water)…things like that). We do have translators, but that is for sissies. C’mon – cowboy up and learn the language.

Part of the “brain trust of Umm Qasr”

Notice Myles standing with his foot on one stair…

he ALWAYS seems to be in the photo….

no wonder he made Captain – they call him “Captain eh- smiley".

After the meetings (I usually drive with Myles to these Command Briefings), we typically take a drive around base – that is important for me – so I can get “eyes on” if there is some problem with the facilities. There are many buildings that have been sitting half-constructed for awhile – these are all projects that the Iraqis have tried to do themselves – and the contractors have gone out of business or gone into default – whatever. But it is important that I know what is going on. We may stop in to chat with some of the local officers (depending upon what happened in the command briefing).

Here is where we met with Captain Lefta and Iraqi Mohandis (engineer) Mohammed at the burnt-out Waste Water Treatment Plant – right after one of our Command Briefings. Just so you know, here it is proper to put the person’s title before their name – so I am “Mohandis Mr. Wade” and I have Mohandis Amjad and Mohandis Fakhri working for me.

So after that, it is typically time to get lunch. Now sometimes, I am lucky enough that I can get the locals to bring me some lunch like timmen wa dejudg (chicken and rice) – but most of the time, I go look for something “pre-packaged” from the DFAC – and if there are leftover samoon – I usually have that for lunch. We also have a large fridge that we keep stocked-up with Gatorade, water, and iced coffees.

After all, we are in Iraq – like the Iraqi people – we like to be generous and offer our “guests” plenty of “love in the form of calories” and let them leave our little office with a full tummy and a happy heart.

Myles and Mr. Wide Jingly Shop LLC – the fridge is stocked full as well. The whole camp is getting to know that we are the place to come for a mid-day snack, cup of tea, and some sound advice from two of the “more experienced” people on the camp

After lunch is the “heat of the day” – and most of the Iraqis are asleep (seriously) – we try and go over there occasionally around 2 or 3 pm and the guards tell us to go away – everyone is asleep. Well, if they ate as much rice and chicken as I typically do, I think it is a good idea that they take a nap – I know I would like to. So then I usually try to take care of designs or do camp stuff in the afternoon – especially if I can stay in the air-conditioned office.

About 4 pm, I will usually break away from the office – and head to the gym and go for a jog. We have to use the treadmill because the sand and wind outside make it very hard to run (and breathe) and the sand gets in your eyes really bad. So I jog on the treadmill for a half hour or so. Then, I go back to the hootch – take a shower (in case I didn’t tell you, we turned off the hot water heaters in May – the cold water is sitting in tanks all day and is warmed by the sun – and that’s how we get hot showers). But I take a nice long 30-second shower – and then I change into shorts and a t-shirt. On Mondays and Fridays, I “skype” with Jeanette for about an hour. On other days, I head back to the office.

About 6 pm, I head off to the DFAC and look for something else “pre-packaged” to eat. (sometimes I feel like the DFAC is run by Larry, Abdul and his other brother Abdul….) If we are lucky, the Iraqi interpreters (or Myles and myself) will host a “dinner” – we have done this 3 or 4 times and it is a hoot. As I have said before, the Iraqis love to laugh and talk and eat…. WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE??? So we have this conference room where we can eat – and learn more Iraqi words – and just create a distraction. 

From right to left (like the Arabic person reads)

Dhiya, Ali, Myles, Mohammed, and your daring adventurer

Look closely and you will see all of that Iraqi bread piled in the middle of the table – notice the chicken ( dejudge), the soup (marug), the torshi (pickled vegetables) and the Kharoof Khabab (sheep kabab) – the chicken was stuffed with timmen (rice - see the photo below). Also you will see below – the large round flat bread called “hobis”. This is similar to a tortilla in texture, but it is sooooo good.

See the chicken – stuffed with rice?
…..ooohhhh what you are missing….

As I said before – there are a lot of “groundhog day” effects – so we are always trying to find distractions to help mark the time.

After dinner, I usually head back to the office and work until 8:30 or 9 pm – so I can finish up the day’s work. Mostly just wrapping up emails or finishing up various items ( this is also when I typically do a lot of my “update” – as I can usually find a funny story or two from the day). Then I head back to the hootch for about ten minutes of television – before falling asleep and starting all over again tomorrow.

The only real variation from the above is my Fridays (again, this is a holy day for the Muslim population) – so most of the time, there is little, if any, work going on. Because of this, Friday is my “down day”. I usually come in, get my Friday cup of coffee (this is the ONE cup of coffee all week long that I put hot chocolate in)…. and I send off my weekly update (usually around 6 am my time). Then I finish up my day in the office around lunch time – and head back to my hootch to watch movies for a couple of hours (maybe take a nap), go for a run around 3 or 4 pm – come back, shower, skype with Jeanette – watch a bit more tv – and get ready to start the week all over again.

One thing I learned when I was in Afghanistan ( and I make zero apologies for it) – is that if you don’t take some down-time during the week (and a lot of folks don’t – which I think is a mistake) – but, if you don’t get that down time – your body can’t refresh – your mind can’t be as creative – and your basic personality starts changing. I have seen it:

Person A walks in: Good Morning Person B! 

Person B: Good morning?? GOOD MORNING??!!?? What do you mean by that??

So I always insist on having at least one afternoon per week to relax and unwind. There you have it…..  I guess it actually sounds a little boring. Maybe you thought it would be like one of those war movies and I would be running from foxhole to foxhole? BTW, there are days when I get to do stuff no civilian would ever typically get to do ( ride in a swift ship, take a ride in an MRAP, fly in a helo, have lunch with a couple of Iraqi Generals, etc.) and believe it or not, those are cool and I try and share those adventures with you – but what I really love is working with the Iraqi Navy and the Iraqi locals. Getting to know them – developing trust and relationships (like any place that I have ever worked) – and let them know that if I say I am going to do something, it will get done, etc. This is my real satisfaction.

So, dear reader and my best friend, that is what “A Day In The Life Of Mr. Wide” is like ( and again, I left out the frantic phone calls, the panic visits, the irritated workers – on and on….). That is my life – has been for the past 15 weeks and probably will be for the next 37 weeks or so. I hope you enjoyed sharing this day with me as much as I have enjoyed sharing it with you. I leave you with just one wish…..
I wish that you could “verb” your day today – no matter where you are. Remember a verb means “action” so – join in the laughter, bask in the good times, smell your clean air, touch your green grass, savor the food you eat, love your family, taste your spouse’s kiss, feel your baby’s tender touch… live your freedoms – all of those things….just “verb” them – especially today…..and then….save the memory for me when next we meet. As those “verbs” are the “nouns” (things) that are most important to me and that I miss the most. So “verb” today with me.
As always……

God Bless America

Wade “Mr. Wide”

مهندس  واد  بروير