Week 18 - My Week In Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr! (Umm Qasr – which I believe is Arabic for “…anyone who sings ‘the SUN will come out…to-morrow’ will automatically get beaten up by bystanders – no matter their nationality”). I hope you have had a pleasant week.
I hear the “states” have been going through a hot spell – and yes it is probably warmer here – but we are prepared for it (kind of like when you live in the northern portion of the country – and you hear about the south being shut down completely for 2 inches of snow….). The “heat” can sneak up on you. I actually had an experience this week – I was outside in the heat for two solid days (I drank plenty) but because it was hot and I was drinking so much water – I was not hungry, so I didn’t eat. I got sick and had to stay inside for a few days. I am fine now – I caught it early and we had a good response team – so I had nothing more than a headache after a few hours. But even when you prepare for it – you have to be careful in the extreme heat.

Okay, so what else have I been doing? Well, I have been working and playing hard and trying to make a difference. One fun thing I got to do this week….. the HoN (remember Head of Navy) asked me to take a little trip to a Headquarters Area he is building and to start looking at some old buildings to renovate (one of my specialties), as well as make a master plan for the base (another one of my specialties), and look at the infrastructure (yep … specialty too), and go through a new building they just built and correct all of the deficiencies (not even gonna say it this time….). So I took the boat ride up the river….

Yep….some people just “ooze” cool….
no matter what part of the world they are in…

And we finally dock near the “generator ship” that you see in the above picture. Now, the port is pretty big and requires a lot of power. If you look at the very front of the ship – you see it comes with its own electrical substation. There are 15 exhaust stacks – meaning 15 generators on board and only 3 were working (notice the smoke) – and to power what they power, that means there are some HUGE generators on there. This ship supplies electricity to the port 24/7. This is a real engineering feat.

Alright, so I go up to the area that they want me to start renovating…. a few things stick out….

Guess whose happy little face used to be planted here??

We walk into the building – and there was a place where someone’s silhouette used to be…. hmm… wonder who? BTW, I can’t show you the rest of the wall – without some serious mental damage. This was one of the scenes of some really hard fought battles with the British – and once the Brits came in – well, let’s just say that they have their own peculiar sense of what is funny. (BTW, the Brits did the same thing to the Americans – when they rotated out of Umm Qasr.  Not sure why they feel that scratching large drawings of private parts on a fire truck is so hilarious – but hey, they are British – nobody understands their humor…).

After the battle in this area was over, the locals came in and stripped everything but the bricks. And if they couldn’t remove it – they broke it trying. So all of the electrical, the door jambs, even the flooring has been removed from these buildings. (Of course, I look at it from a construction point of view….”HEY! less money for demolition!!”). Structurally, the buildings are all fine. But as I said, this was the scene of some pretty nasty battles….

That’s not termite damage….and some go all the way through….

That’s gotta hurt…..notice the “blast shadow” on the left wall….eerie…

Now overall, you would think that this assignment would be a little boring – renovating some old buildings into offices…. however – as I was walking around – I came upon this…

SPIRES!!  I LOVE SPIRES!  How cool is this gonna be!!!

(can you hear it?.....”HA-ley-lu-Ya…HA-ley-lu-Ya”)

I took one look at this and (with the “Hallelujah Chorus” going off in my head…) said, “OH…. MY…. GOSH!!” Can YOU SEE this!? WHOA baby …there is some cool stuff I can do here. The brick building in the background is going to be the new DFAC and this area is going to be a “court” and I am going to do SOMETHING with those spires! There are just SO MANY cool ways to go…. this is the Iraqi Navy HQ – so I could go with some type of wind sail or boat-related ideas – or I could add things to make them anchors – or conning towers – on and on and on. But the point is these are going to be the centerpiece of the new IqN Headquarters area - and I get to design it! I am still working on theme (FYI – the spires were originally to hold a cover for the area – ahh….. and now, it will still be a cover – but it will be SO MUCH more….). Another “Mr. Wide Original”. I am having my two local engineers go to the area next week and start getting all the measurements – so I can start “designing…..”….heh-heh-heh. (Can you hear the gears turning in my head??) And I get paid for doing this….
So we hopped back in the boat and headed for home. FYI, I was riding in a Defender boat – I have shown pictures before – but here is another photo – you notice that it has an air-conditioned cab – but I didn’t come to Iraq to ride in the cab….so I was upfront on the bow – baby….. upfront on the bow.

If you look close on the cab you can see “Iraqi Navy” on the door (just in case you thought I was actually sending you all
of these updates from Guadalajara or something….)

Which brings up another interesting item. In the states, if I go out in the sun for a half hour – I am LOBSTER RED - I sunburn at the drop of a hat (even a cool hat…). Here, I have been outside for HOURS with no suntan lotion on or anything – and I haven’t burnt yet. I got a little red on the arms and neck – but no real sunburns. I asked the locals – and they think it is the “thick ozone layer”. I am sure there is a scientific explanation – but I still say it is so hot here that all of the UV rays melt before they make it to my skin …… ;-p
Of course, for me – my favorite time is anytime I get to laugh and talk and hear the Iraqi people’s stories. And I like to tell my stories as well. As I have told you, the interpreters love working with us – for several reasons – but they always volunteer when Myles (my office mate) and I have something going on – because they know we are going to have a good time – no matter what we will be doing.
The biggest complaint the interpreters have (same as my wife….), I get carried away and I don’t give them enough time to talk. I constantly hear them say something like, “Mr. Wide, you have to give us time to interpret. You get so emotional (I think they mean passionate) about what you talk about – that I spend my time listening to you talk and I forget to interpret. Then I have to turn to the General (or whomever) and try to interpret all that you just said!” And you might have heard a rumor or two – but I can occasionally get slightly carried away…. just slightly – especially when I get to talk about what I love doing.

I just threw this in – so you can see that I do occasionally eat “American food” – but unfortunately, it is prepared by the Indians who run our DFAC – so I think I was done eating by the time this photo was taken….The guy sitting next to me is a Staff LtCdr and the guy across from me is the Captain of one of the boats (and he invited me to dinner!)

So that is it for this week. I love throwing Iraqi words into these weekly updates – you know, I can’t write them in Arabic – even if I wanted to – and of course most of you couldn’t read them (and it is really hard to write some of these letters), so I give you the “phonetic spelling” of the words. So for now I will bid you all “a-shoe-fawk  buy-a-den!” – which means “see you later!”  (Well, either that or “I’m a French-fried tractor!” – you never know with these interpreters – they LOVE to play jokes on me).

Thank you for sharing some of my adventures this week. I look forward to the time I can see your smiling faces and hear your laughter in person.

God Bless America!

Mr. Wide

 مهندس  واد  بروير