Greetings from Umm Qasr (Umm Qasr, which I believe is Arabic for “Yep – we have four seasons – hot, really hot, scorching hot and …are you kidding me???”)
Well, it has been a busy week – I would say interesting and fun – but let’s just stick with busy for now. Okay, first up is the little Umm Qasr Knot area I told you about – well, the “Coffee Shop” is getting closer to opening – it would have opened already except the opening was delayed due to some administrative stuff. In a war zone… hello!…. we have seen the enemy and it is……paperwork. If Al Qaeda really wants to defeat us, all they have to do is demand we do everything in triplicate and have it signed off by a lawyer – or they will sue us. We will come to a grinding halt and will be mired in the muck for years. Any rate, as promised, here are a few pics of the new coffee shop area…
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| Okay, you can see the covering for the “roof” is now completed and they have placed tables and chairs in the area….I love the “fencing” they used and am going to place it in a few other locations as well… |
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| Closeup of the seating area. Do you see the “church pew” in the back? That was removed from Camp Bucca when they closed it (a lot of items were “sold” once Camp Bucca closed). Of course, they “re-covered” the pews – and they still have the little kneeling benches on the back…. How about the couch set? All 3 pieces – they offered to sell me for $500…I have a nice hootch – but not that nice. |
One of the funny (interesting) things is when I talk to the Iraqis about life in the US – about how much we all “worry” about the lawyers and if we get sued or panic about if we are liable. It is just not a part of the culture here (and in ways, it is scary, but in ways it is refreshing). Now, I have NEVER (25+ years of construction management) had anyone hurt on my watch (other than a minor scratch or two). But here in Iraq, it is, “well, if you are stupid enough to do it – then you are stupid enough to be responsible for the consequences.” And sometimes, the Iraqis are not known for the “safe” approach.
Alright – I want you to read this next part VERY CAREFULLY – as I would not put people in danger – but I want to tell you the story about “repairing a high voltage line” in Iraq. What happened is this – a crane was moving some CHUs around. Well, the driver wasn’t careful and he bumped into a high power line (BTW, NOT on my watch) – but when he hit the high power line – (he was fasting for Ramadan so his higher power must have been watching out for him - as by all rights he should have been a French fry….) – but he hit the high power line, knocked it off the insulator – and he almost sheared the wire in half. Luckily, the line held – it broke off the shielding and was held in place by two thin wires. It was just there dangling in the breeze – waiting for the first good wind to rip it apart. Well, the Iraqi base was without power for a few hours. Now, when something happens, the Iraqi Navy has learned to call “Mr. Wide” and see if I can help them get things fixed.
So I didn’t know the base was without power (not a good thing when it is 115 degrees outside) – so after I heard, I scrambled around and I finally get the “Umm Qasr electrician” to come out and “repair” the line. The Iraqi Navy supplied the “bucket” that they typically put on a crane and lift the guys up (they really don’t have a “bucket truck” down in this part of Iraq). So the guys come on base (I helped get them on) and I am watching the “electricians” repairing the line.
Later on, this guy was telling the Iraqis that he paid $50 for a “special tool” to test the wires to see if the power was off (the power was off – we were in contact with the Iraqi base – and they had shut the power off – and he is TOTALLY correct to check it.) I didn’t have a problem with him checking the power, but I wanted to show you the $50 “tool”
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| That $50 tool is a stick with two wires attached to it. If the power was on, it would have sparked across the lines. The power was off – so all was good. |
So, the power was off – below you can see a “closeup” of the “bucket.” Now understand, this is NOT U.S. forces or under our authority – it is all Iraqi work. And yes, that is plywood, 2x4’s and a metal grating for the flooring. They were up there for a total of about 5 minutes.
Well, the “electrician” thought he was doing work for the Americans. So here is the deal – he comes over and I show him the damaged area. He goes back and gets about $5 worth of parts. I make arrangements with the Iraqis to get the bucket truck and the crane – he comes into the base, gets on the bucket and gets lifted up in the air. He spends (maybe) 5 minutes up there. He comes down and he tells me he wants to get paid. Interesting.
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| Closeup of the bucket |
Now, before I tell you about this guy – I want you to know some of the stories about working for Americans here are ridiculous – (the rumors include) we pay interpreters $10,000 a month (FYI - not even close). We take them on fancy trips to Bahrain and other places (well, the only fancy place I have been is the Iraqi Navy DFAC – so I don’t know where that came from)….. So basically, anytime someone hears “working for an American” it is like they think they have won the lottery.
Okay, about this guy…. he is an Iraqi Government employee – and he probably makes about $30 (or if he is high ranking enough) $40 a day (yes….a day). So for ten minutes work, I am going to be generous and suggest they pay him $100 (they asked for me to help – so I want to take care of the guy). For ten minutes work – more than two days pay…. (and by the way, he is still on the clock – getting his normal pay for this time)…. I am thinking the guy is going to be embarrassed that we offer him so much. Mohandis (Engineer) Amjad even tells me that this is a little too generous – but hey, I want him to know I appreciate him helping the Iraqi Navy. Amjad jokingly tells me he is going to offer the guy $50 and keep $50 for himself (Amjad was definitely kidding)…
So the electrician walks up to Amjad and says, “$300.”
Amjad laughs at the guy…. literally, he broke out laughing. He wanted the equivalent of more than a week’s pay. Does he think he works for Chrysler? Sheesh, part of his job is to be available for emergency work and that is what this was. I told him to go visit the Iraqi Navy (figuring if he heard that, he would lower his price to a reasonable amount) – but he was insulted that he was being offered less. So after about ten minutes of arguing with him – I sent him over to see the Iraqi Navy Officer. Haleem took the electrician over there. The Captain said to Haleem, “Thank Mr. Wade very much – we will handle this from here. Now please leave.”
What Haleem told me later, was that the Captain had told the guy that this was bad for Iraq. Guys shouldn’t be greedy and just want to take money because they think we are Americans and don’t know the value of money…. (FYI…I am too much of an Okie to NOT know the value of money – no matter where I am…)….. but any rate, I think the electrician got a little insight into working with the Americans…. and I think he got a “life lesson” from the Captain.
Okay, on to other things – more fun things like…. BUILDIN’ STUFF…..
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| You have heard of the “Wailing Wall?” This is the “Mr. Wade-ing” Wall…. |
Okay, from the picture above - it is a long story, but essentially because of someone’s previous great ideas, I had to run a sewer pipe (grey water only) across the ground – well, it can’t sit like that – as people would step on it, yadda, yadda, yadda. So in the little “Knot” area, (I am trying to make it look “more like Iraq.”) So I had them build this “wall” over the top of the area – it serves to cover and protect the pipe – as well as give a little seating/bench area near the Knot. So it is not “done” yet either – but the picture above shows how they “frame out” the wall in Iraq – and the pictures below shows the almost finished product. By the way, I asked them for a “step” – and when I saw the step (below) –
I was like, “Are you crazy? That’s not a step….that’s a tiptoe!” (they didn’t “get” it) – but they said, (probably to save face) – “No Mr. Wide – this is just to show you the height and to see if you like it.” Okay, I can live with that – and they didn’t build the step on the other side, so I can take that as a reasonable excuse (and by the way, I have had WAY more wilder excuses…. and that includes those heard while working in the states as well….)
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| For Umm Qasr (and Iraq), this is actually not terrible work. |
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| A “closeup” of the ceramic tile that was put on top of the “bench” Again, quality of workmanship is on a different level in Iraq. I would not accept this in the states – but for here, it is actually pretty nice. The “spots” in the texture are where it is drying. It will eventually become one color. |
Okay so that was fun……well, my time is about up – so one last thing I want to leave you with. Remember how I told you a few weeks back that Haleem was so excited about his upcoming Visa interview? No word on that yet, but one of the other interpreters, Deeya – came and visited me as well. He has his interview set up in the Baghdad Embassy in December – and he is now to the point where he is getting all of the paperwork for his wife and 6 kids to come to America. Even though they are interpreters, sometimes they have a hard time reading the “legalese” that we in America get so used to. But he wants to do the (MOUNTAIN of) paperwork correctly. There is also a ton of legal fees, doctor fees, etc. (that Iraq is charging – not America). I feel honored that he came to me asking for assistance. But even so, to see him struggle to figure out all of the things and work so hard to come to America – well, I know it is sappy….but, darn it, it brings a lump to my throat. The same with Haleem – and for all of these people here that are trying so hard to immigrate legally. They KNOW….let me repeat that….they KNOW…that America is the best place (bar none) in the world to live – especially when you have to start from scratch. They also know that they are going to have to work hard and learn new things and get used to new cultures and peoples….and you know what?? I am SO EXCITED for them! What a wonderful thing (Haleem is fairly young – but Deeya is an old guy like me) but what a wonderful thing for them to have these adventures ahead of them – for their young kids and their other family members…. And I have no doubt in my mind – NO DOUBT, that they are going to come to America and live out their lives in peace, pursuing happiness, and freedom….That is our founding fathers’ gift to us and subsequently - your and my gift to them….. and we shouldn’t take it lightly. Peace, Pursuing Happiness…. and Freedom. Now THERE is something worthy of “re-gifting.”
Well, my loved ones – my time for this week has disappeared. I hope this finds you all well. Just know that you have a special place in my heart and if I could be anywhere other than where God has called me to be right this minute – it would be at your side.
God bless America
Mr. Wide
مهندس واد بروير
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