Week 9 - My Week in Iraq

Greetings from Umm Qasr (Umm Qasr - which I believe is arabic for "It's so hot.....you can turn on your oven, open the oven door and call it ‘air conditioning’...")

First of all, I had to go this “Word” document as the stupid Yahoo over here keeps messing with the formatting – some of you email readers may have noticed it last week – but it would truncate and add lines and spaces and yadda, yadda, yadda in random places. I hate having that happen – and I am sure there is a way of fixing it – but for now, this will have to work. But think of it this way - now it will be easier for you to print this, tear it up, stamp on it and burn it….(or use for puppy training – up to you).

It’s only MAY!!!!

If you got on Facebook – this is what I was ‘holding’ or pointing too…. Yep, that says about 117 degrees.

Okay, what great things did I learn this week.....   one - no matter how nice your hootch is - if the ac doesn't work (when it's 115 degrees outside) - you don't want to be in it. I told you last week, I got a fridge, a TV (and hooked to AFN), a desk, a new bed, a wardrobe - and I was all set to have a nice Friday afternoon of watching Armed Forces Network…. or ‘sports that I don't care about’  or ‘TV series I have never heard of’ (I know.....sounds great, right?!?) - when my AC unit goes ‘belly up’. 

I was actually "skyping" (video tele-conferencing for those that don't have teenagers....) with Jeanette when the ac unit kicked off. In ten minutes, I had to leave the hootch - it got hot that fast. Here is the kicker.... there is no such thing as ‘central air’ over here - they all have these little units – even in our larger facility - we have a bunch of little units. So you find out real fast - you NEVER turn them off (this was part of the problem... I was trying to ‘save’ electricity.... to try and save our generators and stop little fun things like electrical fires throughout the camp... so I would shut off the unit when I wasn't there during the day). Well when the units shut down, it is so hot here and the dirt gets into all the little crevices, etc. that when you turn the unit back on, it has problems cooling the room down. I would do the same thing with the AC unit in my office - and when we opened it up, there was a sheet of ice on the fins of the compressor. And when we turned it back on – it spit pieces of ice at us.

Any rate, we got the my hootch unit back up and working - and I put it on "low' and it runs all the time now. It gets the room down to 80 degrees during the day (but it makes it about 65 during the night/morning hours - which causes you to make sure you are COMPLETELY dry when you get out of the shower in the morning). Any rate, I got my ac fixed - and my little CHU now is actually pretty nice. Now if I could just do something about the neighborhood..... 

I also wanted to show another picture of last week's trip (or what I call the ‘sailing extravaganza’). The first is a pic of your favorite facility guy in Iraq - I am standing on the bow as we get close to ‘Home Port’.........

I’ll never forget good ol’ “whatsisname”

 
and this next one is of a Sadaam-era Iraqi Submarine (that is a joke....hey, it was either that or more CHU jokes..take your pick.) - that is the ‘tower’ of a sunken ship and it was all that was sticking out of the water.

Sadaam-Era Iraqi Submarine “on manuevers”…(i.e. “down”)

Okay, I am not sure what it is with me and Iraqis - but they are always giving me grief…. well, okay, the Iraqis, the Brits, the Marines AND most of the women I know – are giving me grief - but in a fun way. What happened is this... I had to run over to the Iraqi Navy Headquarters and I am wearing my dark blue shirt (and I am 'packin’ heat') and of course….'the hat'.  So as I am walking in (with an interpreter and another guy) one of the guards yells out something that sounds like “Shull-tee!” and the 'Terp starts crackin' up.  So we get inside the building and I asked what was so funny – and the 'Terp told me that the Iraqi Police wear blue shirts and have guns and I looked like one – so they basically called me a policeman – but in terms of slang – like 'cop' (shull-tee). And it was funny to me…. because you have this BOOS guy (my acronym for Bald, Overweight, Old, and Short) walking around like a cop. So after I took care of business in the HQ building – I went out to the guys and jokingly told them I was going to give them a ticket… for speeding. (It was around 110 degrees and they were sitting in the shade – trying to move as little as possible). I don’t know if they got the joke…. but as I have said before…  I crack me up!
Any rate, I included the ONLY photo I could find with me in my dark blue shirt.  And WHAT AN ANOMALY – 

Huh….Wade eating chocolate
and peanut butter….how unusual!

I am eating chocolate and peanut butter when this photo was taken…. that hardly EVER happens… But, since they thought I was a cop – at least I wasn’t eating a donut! As I have said before, in the area of humor, passion of thought, and love of discussion – there are some really good lessons we Americans can learn from the Iraqis.

Okay, I have to admit….I don’t remember every detail I have written in my weeks here. Heck, I barely remember what I wrote last week – or what I had for breakfast for that matter…. so what was I talking about??

Oh yeah….. I don’t remember if I told you about the local Iraqi Engineers I am hiring. I met them this past week and I am very happy that I can have them help me do some of the detail work that I have been trying to get to the last couple of weeks. Part of the problem is I love to design – and I love to create – but I need help with getting down to details – mostly because I don’t have the time to research the intricate details. So I have two very large projects that I am pushing – that I want to get really detailed on – mostly due to the size of the projects. But I also got to admit, that as much as I enjoyed getting to know some of the other Iraqis I have been dealing with, it will be nice to work day-to-day with some engineering types…. even in a foreign country, us “facility guys” gotta stick together.

One of the great things about working in a deployment is, even when you are having a 'slow' day, really interesting things can happen. Thursday was slow – I have been doing a lot of design work (as mentioned above) and spending a lot of time in the office. Well, the Admiral calls me into his office and I got to meet the acting 'Minister of Defense' of Iraq, General Babakir. I was really upset – as I didn’t have my hat…. but we were indoors – so I guess it wouldn’t have mattered. Not to brag – but the Admiral said some really nice things about me – and the interpreter (whom I have worked with) starts saying all of these really nice things (I think she had me confused with someone else!). But my real hope is that as more Iraqi people know that I am here to help them – the more projects I can get that will affect the locals. As much as I like doing work on the Naval Base, my real desire is schools and hospitals (I did work on those in Afghanistan when I went in 04) – so I am hoping that eventually, I can get my hands on those things as well.

As I said in one of my early posts, there are many things I can’t tell you – or I slightly change details in case 'the stupid-heads' are out there watching….. well, one of the things that I couldn’t tell you about was the British leaving (Iraq in general and Umm Qasr specifically) – but it has been published (even though there are some individual Brits here and there) – so I can talk about it. I have only been here two months (seems like two decades) – but I have to say, the Brits were a very good group to work with. They were quite professional (I used them several times when I had to go 'outside the wire' for my personal protection – and I always felt safe). Other than the fact that I had to ask them to repeat themselves any time they talked to me…. (it seemed to me like every time they spoke, they were in a race to get as many words out of their mouths before their lips moved…) – and I was constantly saying, “What?” or waiting a moment or two – hoping my brain would process all the words – and it would sink in (that actually did work a couple of times). But, bottom line is... they treated me like one of their own and put their life on the line for me.

Iraqi, British, and American Sailors, Soldiers, and Marines

The last time the British Flag will fly with 

the American and Iraqi flags at Umm Qasr

And in honor of the Brits who just left…..

God Save the Queen

Well, dear reader and fellow adventurer, my time is up for this week. Thank you for taking part in my journey. And since this is Memorial Day weekend –have a GREAT time this weekend – enjoy your barbecue, go to the beach or whatever…. just don’t forget that there are some wonderful men and women over here (and around the world) that are doing heroic acts and marvelous works. They are putting their lives on the line daily for you and me. Young, old, male, female, white, black, asian-pacific, - this great 'melting pot' of ours – the likes the world has never seen…. it doesn’t matter the color, the gender, or the age…. And I get the pleasure and honor to see them first hand doing an incredible task with an incredible attitude. And you know what I think? I think…. 

God Bless America

Wade “Mr. Wide”

مهندس  واد  بروير